While I was in hospital going through the extremely brutal Leukaemia treatment I spent a lot of time fantasising about how great my life would be once my body went into remission! Well surprisingly I am still waiting for that rush of euphoria I dreamed of! Maybe a few years down the line, five years, I am lead to believe, it will finally hit me! I will feel safe and trust in my own body not to randomly start the destructive formation of Acute Myeloid Leukaemia!
My consultant cannot enlighten me as to why I have Leukaemia nor can he reassure me that I won’t relapse! While I was enduring my treatment none of this crossed my mind, I just focused on each dreadful moment.
Want to know how it feels? It’s like constantly running from an assassin, never quite feeling safe, always looking over your shoulder waiting for the bullet to hit! At least now I am aware I have Leukaemia stalking me, waiting in the shadows, never far from my thoughts!