In case you didn’t know I’ve had a bit of an image change…reluctantly! I lost my long blonde locks thanks to chemo and now have short dark hair…bit of a contrast! And yeah everyone says it suits me and why don’t I keep it like this but no matter how hard I try I just cannot grow to like it (no pun intended!)
The other day I went to a funeral which was tough enough anyway and several times people who I’d seen on a regular basis before Leukaemia just looked straight through me!! I just wanted to cry and had to sit there with awful flashbacks racing through my mind, it doesn’t take much to trigger them off! Of course once I later spoke to each of them they said ‘of course I can see its you now but, I wouldn’t have recognised you.’ They were only being kind and not realising how much this hurts and this is by no means the first time this has happened! You see I didn’t want to change my image, I liked…no I loved my long blonde hair, I spent hours looking after it and all my life growing it! My image change was forced upon me and yeah the chemo saved my life and I shouldn’t complain but, I really miss my hair especially when people don’t to see ‘me’.
When I see people for the first time since I lost my hair I often feel too anxious to say hello so regularly just walk on by! Sometimes I step in front of them faking bravado reintroducing myself!
Of course this would all be great if I was working undercover for MI5 but unfortunately its nothing as exciting as that! However, if anyone recruiting is reading I am available and looking for a new challenge!!